


My Immortal

by makichansenpai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crying, Did I Mention Angst?, Forgiveness, I'm a horrible person, M/M, Moving On, Someone dies, cuz there's angst, i cried my heart out, kuroo is awarded best bro 2k16, please read beginning notes, slight haunting, someone suffers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 02:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6782527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makichansenpai/pseuds/makichansenpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto can't take it anymore so he goes to his best bro for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! So I'm finally starting to even out the angst... sort of. xD
> 
> It's Bokuto's turn to suffer. T_T forgive me.
> 
> This is kinda based on the first verse of "My Immortal" by Evanescence
> 
> "I'm so tired of being here  
> Suppressed by all my childish fears  
> And if you have to leave  
> I wish that you would just leave  
> 'Cause your presence still lingers here  
> And it won't leave me alone"
> 
> Remember guys, key-word "Kind of"

Bokuto can't take it anymore. Everywhere he goes he can feel Akaashi's presence around him.  It was as if Akaashi was haunting him, but how can that be when he's still alive?  Well, technically he's sort of alive and sort of dead.  A vegetable was what the doctor told him.  It's been four days and Bokuto still feels like it was his fault. 

 

Right now, Bokuto is scared.  He's scared that he won't be able to move on.  Scared that he'll end up taking his own life because it's his fault that his lover is practically dead.  Bokuto is going crazy and he knows it.  So he seeks help from the only person he can trust, his best bro, Kuroo.

 

Bokuto calls Kuroo, and he picks up right away.

 

"What's up Bo?"

 

"Kuroo…" Bokuto says with a shaky voice.

 

"Bo? What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay?" Kuroo asks with panic in his voice.

 

Bokuto takes a deep breath, "I'm fine… sort of. I just need to talk to you. If that's okay. I have some things I want to get off of my chest."

 

"Yeah. Of course you can talk to me. I'm all ears bro. Lay it on me."

 

"Kuroo… I know he's not coming back.  The doctor said that there's no chance of him returning.  Even though… even though he's not gone yet, I can't help but feel like he's haunting me.  I can feel him everywhere I go.  It's like he's burning holes through me or something. I don't know what to do." Bokuto says on the verge of tears.

 

Kuroo sighs, "Bo… maybe you should talk to him.  Let out everything you want to say before it's too late.  I'm sure Akaashi will understand once you talk to him.  He always does, right?  Every time you get in trouble, he waits for you to give an explanation, and he forgives you.  He loves you too much to hate you forever.  Maybe you feeling his presence everywhere you go is a sign to talk to him.  He's calling you bro." Bokuto starts to cry. "Go. Before it's too late.  I'll be home, so come over when you're done.  The door will be open for you, so just come in.  I'll be here" Kuroo says before he hangs up.

 

Bokuto wipes his face and takes a breather.  Then he puts on his shoes, and makes sure he has his keys and phone.  Once he was outside and made sure that the door was locked, Bokuto ran to the hospital like his life depended on it. It took him about 15 minutes to get to the hospital.  When Bokuto barged into Akaashi's room, he was greeted with a shocked doctor who was about to pull the plug and Akaashi's crying parents.

 

"May… May I have… a couple more minutes with Akaashi please?" Bokuto said between breaths. The doctor looked at Akaashi's parents, and they gave him a small nod.  The doctor walked out with Akaashi's parents trailing behind him.  Before they stepped out of the room, Akaashi's mom gave Bokuto a small hug and Akaashi's dad squeezed his shoulder.  Once he was alone, Bokuto walked to Akaashi and held his hand.

 

"Akaashi… I'm so sorry. I should've just let the argument go. I should've gone after you when you ran out.  No… I should've grabbed your arm and hugged you before you even turned around to leave.  I'm sorry that our fight resulted to this. If… If I could go back in time and change something, I would've dropped it. I would've dropped it and would just be happy to have you with me; to be able to hold you.  All I've wanted was to spend as much as I could with you." Bokuto takes a moment to breathe.

 

"Akaashi. I love you. You know that right?  You know that I would never leave you for anyone else; that I will forever be faithful to the person who accepted and loved me with all their heart and soul when I had so many flaws.  You are so perfect, and you stuck with a person like me.  You deserved better and you could've left to have a better life, but you stayed.  I love you so much, and I wish I can follow you, but I know that you'll kick my ass if I did that to myself."

 

Bokuto chuckles at the thought and wipes away some tears. "Akaashi… no matter how much time passes by, no matter how many people I meet, I will never ever forget you.  I will always love you until I breathe my dying breath.  But I'm going to let you go.  I know you'll go to a better place, and I wish you will be happy when you get there.  I love you so much." Bokuto kisses Akaashi's forehead and squeezes his hand once more.  He walks out of the room feeling heavy.  He says his goodbye to Akaashi's parents, and starts walking to Kuroo's house.  Bokuto won't be able to keep himself composed if he watches the doctor pull the plug. 

 

After 20 minutes of walking, Bokuto arrives at Kuroo's apartment.  The door was unlocked just like Kuroo said it would be.  He walks in, takes off his shoes, and walks towards the living room.  When he passed the kitchen, he was greeted with a hug.  Kuroo was hugging him, and rubbing his back while saying that everything was going to be alright.  Bokuto broke down.  He cried out all his frustrations as Kuroo tried to support his weight while trying to get Bokuto to the couch.  Bokuto cried until he fell asleep.  Kuroo had put a blanked over him and a pillow under his head.

 

The next morning when Bokuto woke up, he didn't feel as heavy as yesterday.  He didn't feel as guilty either.  And even though it ached his heart, he didn't feel Akaashi's presence around him.  Akaashi had moved on, and now Bokuto had to do his best to make him proud.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it. I've been trying to figure out how to write an angsty fic revolving around Bokuto. haha... my poor child. 
> 
> *leaves boxes of tissue*
> 
> tumblr @maki-chan-senpai

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Podfic of My Immortal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7649788) by [for_others](https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_others/pseuds/for_others)




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